I wish I could pull a Mariah and say “All I Want for Christmas is You,” but let’s be frank. I don’t even know you. Not to mention my pants would promptly set themselves ablaze from the bold-faced lie.
When you’re about ready to Fa-la-la-la-lock yourself in the bathroom and never come out…you’re gonna want something. It might have a high alcohol content…but know this, you’re gonna want something.
They say you should never stop dreaming. Here are my material dreamz this holiday season.
1. A typewriter. A working typewriter. I remember carefully typing my school reports in 5th grade, and it being the biggest fiasco when you made a mistake. You had to dig out the correction tape and go through the whole spiel. It was a pain in the ass. It was charming. I’m old and nostalgic.
2. A roll of stamps. I don’t have time to be trifling with no book. They go too quickly. I send “Thank You for the Thank You” and equally ridiculous cards. I always need more. I don’t care if this is boring and practical. I don’t question your gifts.
3. Bananagrams. It’s Scrabble without the scorekeeping. And it comes in a fun pouch.
4. A massage. A long, hot stone massage at Revival Massage in Providence with Morgan or Jess, if you’re listening, Santa. It’s not only the most relaxing thing ever – it’s so beautifully decorated that I want to quit my life and move right in.
5. Matte lipstick. Lime Crime Red Velvet Velvetine Liquid Lipstick, to be exact. It’s incredible and long-lasting. And 100% vegan and cruelty free, too.
6. Front and back earrings / 360 earrings / double-sided earrings. Is that what they’re called? Jennifer Lawrence wears them. I love the look.
7. Wubble Bubble Ball. This is more for my son, or so I’m claiming. It’s a huge ass bubble that doesn’t pop when you play with it. So, simply put, it’s a dream come true.
8. Soy candle. They burn clean and smell amazing. Style by the Sea makes ’em in a mason jar and the burn for up to 100 hours. Yes plz.
9. A happy Buddha figurine. I always kept a very small one right below our bathroom sink – one with his arms stretched above, laughing his jolly ass off. It disappeared somewhere. But it’s a symbol of contentment. I liked seeing it and taking in that message at the start and end of every day.
10. A home repair gift card. We’ve got a small house that needs a lotta love. If I could ask for more time and energy, I would.
Whatever is under your tree this year, I hope you feel the magic of the season in your heart. In the mad dash to make it all happen, soak up those quiet lil moments that make it all worthwhile. Happy holidays!