Congratulations – you’ve finally decided to take a walk on the wild side! And by wild side, I mean daring to cut rotting corpse from your diet. Can you believe it? Kidding aside, I think you’ll be happy to know that it gets easier with time, and it will soon become second nature.
There are some things that you’ll want to be aware of when it comes to adopting a plant-based diet, so I’m here to set you straight – from tips to hard truths. My hope is that you’ll find some serious gif-spiration here, or you know, laugh your veggie-ass off. Vegans and vegetarians, get ready to relate [and okay, it’s a little sappy at the end].
When you tell someone that you’re vegan for the first time, you may feel sorta like this:
Lose the look of uncertainty, kid. Your diet is your business.
Which also means that their diet is their business, so don’t be all:
In the past, you may have wondered how anyone could be so into tofu.
That’s a thing of the past. Now you don’t know how you can ever live without this god of a substitute.
And tempeh? Don’t even get me started on tempeh.
It’s not a crime to crave cheese. In fact, it will probably happen a shit ton during the first year.
But then… you discover cashew cheese.
No matter how many times you use a flax egg, you always feel a little smug about it.
You start to wonder how you ever ate a chicken’s period all these years.
“Is my skin starting to clear up?” Yes, yes it is. Probably because you cut dairy from your diet.
THERE ARE SO MANY DELICIOUS NON-DAIRY VARIETIES!!
You thought you could take a dump before, huh? If you’re doing shit right [pun intended], your diet will be full of fiber.
You feel light as a fucking feather when you walk out of that bathroom.
And no, you didn’t lose a damn pound by being vegan, but you sure as hell feel like it.
You start to notice that there are a ton of veg-head celebs.
Like Ellen – HOLLA.
Suddenly, Joaquin Phoenix is hotter than you recall.
Then you read that Usher ditched veganism because it was “too expensive.”
FALSE. A vegan diet does not have to break your bank.
Bitch, have you seen the price of red meat lately?!
Or sugary breakfast cereal?
Or a block of cheese?
I think I can swing the average cost of dry beans, at $0.25 per cup.
All in all, you’ll soon find that a veggie diet is not at all what people make it to be. It’s a compassionate, healthy, and affordable. You may find that you feel better, physically and mentally. Or hey, you may not. But that’s okay – it’s a different experience for everyone. Some of the important things to remember: As a vegan, you’ll save 200 animals per year. As a vegetarian, you’ll save more than 100. You’ll be indirectly affecting our Earth’s water supply, in a positive way. You’ll be helping to cut down on pollution, and yes, indirectly helping to keep our rain forests in tact. There’s a lot that you do not realize is happening when you adopt a plant-based lifestyle, and that is the beauty of it. It’s much more than just a diet. It’s a lifestyle. It’s a way to give back to our beautiful planet, and all living things. It’s not “limiting yourself,” but offering unlimited TLC to the place we call home, and the animals that we call friends.
You’ll make mistakes. You’ll give into temptation. You’ll beat yourself up. You’ll let haters get to you. Just remember to go at your own pace. Ease into it slowly. Find what works for you, and your life. After all, it’s not about being perfect. It’s about doing the most good and the least harm.
You’re doing good, kid. xx Bianca