To the mom who feels the weight of the world on her shoulders. To the overtired moms. To the moms who find solace locked in the bathroom for 5-minutes. You can’t do it all, love.
I look around my house and watch as my girls move from one activity to the next. Toys strewn across the living room. Block piles that look like a landmine hit. Couch pillow tossed on the floor. Crayon shavings under their chairs. Paper, coloring books, pencils, glue, scissors spread over the dining room table. Dried cereal tossed in for good measure. I look at it and I let the tension roll off my back because in my heart, I know that I cannot be the mom who wants their kids to explore, play independently, and create freely and have an immaculate house at the same time. This is our season of life. I can’t have both of those things right now.
There are moms who artfully plate up their children’s food. Moms who buy only organic. Moms who cook from scratch. Moms who take their children on hikes. Moms who do all the intricate art projects. Moms who let their kids use glitter. Moms who work from home. Moms who work outside the home. Moms who workout. Moms who hire help. Moms who allow screen time. Moms who have no TV at all. Moms who play with their kids on the floor. Moms who join co-ops. Moms who drive their kids from activity-to-activity. Moms who deep clean every week. Moms who bake with their kids. Moms who read a book a week. Moms with the latest fashion sense. Moms with perfectly manicured nails. Moms who make their kids a basket full of goodies for every season. Moms who make daily bread. Moms who grow their own food. Moms who can hundreds of jars of applesauce. Moms who homeschool. Moms who run farms. Moms who eat vegan.
All of these things as a collective are wonderful. Absolutely beautiful. But you cannot be all of these things all the time. You can’t do it all. What you can do, is choose a handful of things that matter to you. Not to your mother. Not to your friends. Not to your Instagram followers. You prioritize what matters most to you and you do not feel bad for not prioritizing the rest.
It is impossible to be all those moms at once. You are one person. You are you. Forget the labels and what you see on Instagram. It is easy to look put-together in a single square. A flash. Just one flash. We are not perfect. We are not pulled together all of the time. That is okay. That is normal. You. cannot. do. it. all. No matter how easy someone makes it look in their snapshots. Because that is all it is: a snapshot. We capture the beautiful moments because we are naturally drawn to them. We capture the peaceful moments as a reminder that they are there when peace is lost in the dark and the house is turned upside.
You might buy organic berries but regular apples and bananas. You might consider cleaning to be your workout. You might play outside with your kids in the morning but turn on the TV in the evenings for a breather. You might read a book during quiet time instead of cleaning. You might cook dinners from scratch, but breakfast and lunch are on autopilot. You might bake with your kids on special occasions only. You might make (questionable) Mickey Mouse shaped pancakes when the mood strikes. You might thrift your Lululemons. You might gift your children a new book to celebrate the season. You might have a few pots of fresh herbs on your patio.
You do not have to go “all in” to be a good mom. You know your family rhythm. You know your circumstances. You know your limits. You will always innately know exactly what your children need. Let others opinions and social media become background noise. When you prioritize your strengths, you energize your home.
There is no one like you. Take comfort in that fact. Embrace it. Own it. And do not apologize for it.
You can’t do it all, and that’s okay. You are the mom you were meant to be.
Remember this in 2022. x
