Setting Social Media Boundaries

Hi friends. I am finally finally getting around to writing this post. It has been weighing on my mind for months but getting everything out seemed like an impossible task. It still feels that way because honestly I have so many conflicting feelings with social media.

Social media has been a part of my job for over a decade and it brings a lot of goodness to my life – keeping up with friends, meeting new people, spreading information that means a lot to me… it does so much good. But if 2020 and 2021 taught me anything, it is that too much social media is extremely detrimental to my mental health. There is just too much information (and misinformation). Too many opinions. Too much perfection. Too much too much too much. It is all TOO MUCH!! And as a mom of two young kids, it became a constant struggle to take things with a grain of salt or feel like I was lacking as a parent. And then there is the whole issue of missing out on life before my own eyes because I am constantly scrolling or looking down. Not giving my kids my attention or not getting outside as much as I should. Or hey, not reading books because I was spending nights on the couch watching mindless tv and scrolling. Scrolling too often gives me anxiety, feelings of jealousy, fear of missing out, and doubt. Putting my phone on the back burner has allowed me to breathe, be more present, read more, and truly just be.

I made a number of shifts that have enhanced my life and that is because I have set social media boundaries for myself. I wanted to share them with you here today.

The first step for me was some extra motivation. I watched the Social Dilemma in Facebook which was eye-opening but the real help was a book I read called How to Break Up with your Cell Phone by Catherine Price. It really hits you in the face with how bad a habit our phones have become. I highly suggest checking it out from your local library or buying it for the push you need. I am also a huge fan of Fairyland Cottage on YouTube and she recently posted a great video on how to limit your phone use. Check it out here. One very important thing she mentioned that stuck with me is that when you watch other people’s lives on social media, you miss out on your own. Read it again and again. Let that sink in. Scary, right?

Here are some of the ways that I have taken control over my life again, not to be sidetracked by scrolling.

I turned off all notifications. The only notifications I get are text messages and calendar reminders – everything else has been turned off! The more your phone lights up next to you, the more our attention is broken and we grab it as quickly as possible. The very first step is to turn off the notifications OFF. This step alone is a game changer.

I de-activated all social media except Instagram and Pinterest. This may not be for everyone, but I did it and haven’t looked back. It feels so liberating to de-activate social accounts. I got off of Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. I never even downloaded TikTok because I really just can’t keep up at this point. It’s too much.

With social being a part of my job here, it was a hard decision to leave some platforms. I kept telling myself I needed to stay on Facebook and Twitter for the blog, etc. But the benefits of not having it have outweighed anything else. I did it for me and me only. Instagram and Pinterest are the only platforms I truly still enjoy, so they are sticking around for me.

People get nervous they will lose touch with friends but I just think the ones who are true and dear to you will pick up the phone, text, or FaceTime you with life updates.

I designated specific times to work. This is still one I am working on, but I try to stick to specific times that I will go on social media to work. Usually in the mornings while my husband hangs with the kids before work and during quiet time. I am not perfect at this yet but I am trying my best.

I take weekend detoxes more often. Not every weekend, but I have been aiming to take a social media detox at least once or twice a month. That means closing out of my social apps from Friday – Monday. It feels so liberating to not scroll!! I find that when I do this, I actually come back feeling more refreshed and creative. It also means that I get to be fully invested in my family without distraction.

I unfollowed accounts. I mean… a lot of accounts. I had to really go through and see what was serving me and what wasn’t. I also cleared out a lot of celebrities. While celebrities are fun and all, I honestly felt like my feed was just more cluttered than anything and I only held onto the ones that really inspire me. I also unfollowed accounts that I don’t necessarily dislike, but they often make me feel inadequate or jealous. That was huge. If I want to browse them, I can always stop by and visit but that doesn’t mean I need to see them every single day. I did the same with accounts that often make me want to buy buy buy. I understand affiliates and partnerships, trust me. I do the same! But sometimes it can be too much and that wasn’t great for my bank account. I highly suggest cleaning up your list.

I limit social media after 7:30/8PM. Once my kids are in bed, I usually do one last check on any messages outstanding and then I am DONE with social for the night. I put my phone on the charger and curl up with a good book. People ask me how I read so often and it’s funny because I am a very fast reader, but prioritizing it and not scrolling is definitely one way I read so much. If you spend a half hour on your phone before bed, that is a half hour you could spend reading! Plus, it really relaxes you before sleep instead of the blue light and stimulation of news.

I re-introduced hobbies into my routine. I find that when I am bored, I tend to reach and scroll. This was hard for me in the beginning as a mom of young kids because so many times you are just sitting there and let’s be honest, playing with Magnatiles is a good time but sometimes you are just so bored… so I would find myself reaching for my phone. Plus, I fell out of my hobbies for a while there because I was getting a handle on this motherhood thing. But since then, I have turned to the things that make me happy again and that means less reaching for my phone. Some of these hobbies include: reading, crossword puzzles, journaling, baking, jigsaw puzzles, and gardening.

I moved social media icons into a folder NOT on my main screen. All my social media icons are in a folder that I have to swipe over twice to get to. Not having them in my face has made a huge difference. Which brings me to my next point…

De-clutter your phone and reorganize your home screen. I deleted any apps that are a time suck from my phone. I know games on your phone are fun and there is a time and place. Instead of having them on there always, download them when you have full attention for it. Be more intentional and know that it is okay to play these games but maybe not all throughout the day mindlessly.

Keep your phone out of arm’s reach. I have a bad habit of always having my phone in arm’s reach. Instead, I have been putting the ringer on only and I place it in a basket on my kitchen counter (as long as I am not waiting or expecting an important phone call). This helps me to avoid the mindless scrolling when I am with my kids during the day. I also do the same at night. Instead of keeping my phone right next to me while reading, I often put it on the charger or leave it in another room. Really, there is no reason for it to be next to me at all times!

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Sometimes all you need is a good reminder as to why you want to limit your phone use. If you journal, maybe write down that reason so you can read it back to yourself. Or make a quick note and post it to your fridge. Whatever helps and wherever you will see it often.

I hope that the above has given you something to chew on and maybe re-evaluate how you live with your phone. They have become a part of us, an extra limb, honestly. But gaining back your independence is really liberating. After all, phones are literally just phones. Your life is your life. Live it.