Hi friends :)
I have been doing a lot of reflecting and thinking on my role as a mom lately. I am not sure what it is. Maybe because it’s summer and we are having a lot of adventures together lately or possibly because my girls are both at ages that are super fun. Whatever it is, I was thinking about the things that make me a happy mom. The days are not all rainbows and butterflies, but if I am honest, it feels magical even on the tough days. Even on the days where I am completely drained or lost my temper, I always sit in bed at the end of a long-ass day and scroll through the photos and recount the highlights with my husband and I feel like life couldn’t be any better than this season. I really do.
And I think a lot of the reason I feel this way is because I have shifted my mindset over the years and have learned to let go of things. I have developed habits and rhythms that make the day flow well and have thus increased my happiness as a mom. This wasn’t always the case (I am no stranger to postpartum anxiety and depression) but I feel like I have finally settled into this role and found my footing, confidence, and happiness. I started jotting these down for myself on my phone and thought it would make a good blog post. Maybe this will resonate with some of you or maybe it will help someone who may not be in a good place. I hope this helps someone. x
Here are 30 things that make me a happier mom.
1. I have let go of perfection. I do not have the perfect house, the perfect kitchen, the perfect temper, the perfect patience, the perfect body, the perfect cleaning routine… I could go on and on. But I have let. that. shit. go. Perfectly imperfect in all areas. I cannot (and will not) do it all because I am the mother of two young children and this season of life is not going to last forever. A clean house will have to wait and the patience may never come. But I do the best I can and that is enough.
2. I embrace messes. I do not worry about my kids making a mess during the day. There are art supplies all over the dining room table and blocks and legos and half-finished puzzles and water on the floor from their tea party and crayon peels under my feet but it really does not bother me. I am so happy to watch them play and explore and create all day long. Their mess is a sign of a productive day of play. That’s all that matters. And before we head upstairs for bedtime routine, we clean up together and that is that.
3. Our breakfast routine is on autopilot. I always know I will be eating oats in some form and my kids will be having oats like me, leftover pancakes from the weekend, cereal, or toast with a side of fruit. Sometimes tofu scramble if I get fancy, but other than that… we stick to the usuals and it takes me less than 10 min to serve breakfast.
4. I read to my children on demand. Unless I am in the middle of cooking or doing something I cannot step away from, I will always read when my child holds a book out to me. We cuddle right up wherever we may be. It is one of my greatest joys as a mama.
5. I take quiet time to myself vs. cleaning or cooking. Fiona still takes a long afternoon nap and Willow will play quietly, watch a movie/show of her choice, or have screentime on the iPad. I let her pick. Sometimes we go outside and she explores the backyard. But whatever the situation, I take the next 90 minutes to 2 hours reading, writing, listening to a podcast or just relaxing. I do not clean during this time. I do not try to prep dinner. I do something that makes me happy and fills my cup. I need this every single day.
6. Target drive-up. Oh, I am including it because IT MAKES MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER. IYKYK <3
7. I make one fancy drink a day. Whether that is a mocha latte, iced coffee, or iced tea… there is something special about my afternoon pick-me-up.
8. I read for pleasure AND growth. I read for at least an hour a day nearly every day. I do this in the morning before my kids get up, during quiet time, and before bed. Sometimes I can even sneak in a few pages if my kids are playing independently. Fiction for pleasure and non-fiction for growth and education. Reading makes me so incredibly happy.
9. I listen to podcasts while cleaning the kitchen. My husband spends time with the kids after dinner and I get to listen to a podcast or music while I clean the kitchen and it feels like a luxury. Ha! My favorite podcasts at the moment are: Wild + Free, Simple Homeschool, Brave Writer, and Office Ladies.
10. I only do a major cleaning once a week. Aside from picking things up at the end of the day and wiping down the kitchen after meals and before bed, I don’t do much else during the week. Sometimes I vacuum if things are worse than usual or spray down the mirrors if I notice all the hand smudges but other than that, I spend a few hours on the weekend doing the bathrooms and floors and anything else that may need cleaning while my husband is home. This may change when my kids get older but for now, it is what it is.
11. I play on the floor with my kids at least once a day. Blocks, legos, magnatiles, animal figurines, dress-up/role play, house, hide-and-seek, doll house… whatever it is, I get immersed in their world at least once a day (and sometimes more). My girls are always asking me to play with them and I do my best to commit phone-free at least once. It fills their cup and honestly, mine. It makes me want to cry when I think of the day they stop asking.
12. I get up early & have morning “me” time. I like to get up before everyone else when I am able to enjoy a quiet house before the chaos. Once the kids are up, my husband spends the morning with them before he heads to work and I have time to read, blog, check emails, or do whatever the heck I want before my day begins. It is glorious.
13. I keep art supplies within reach for the kids to create at any moment. Currently that means crayons, colored pencils, paper, coloring books, and stickers. I don’t keep out paint or markers just yet because Fiona is still a bit young and I am nervous (LOL) but having these things out means I am not always setting everyone up when they want to create. They will go in there whenever they want and sit at the dining room table. It’s a win for everyone.
14. I rotate some of my kids’ toys. It is an extra step for me but it is not problem because it means my kids will play HARD when the “new” toys come in. I currently do this every two weeks or so. I talk at length about this HERE.
15. We have open ended toys. I can be a little selective when it comes to toys we bring into our home and that’s because I know that open-ended toys mean longer playtime, more creativity, and quite frankly, they are not annoying/loud/obnoxious. I truly believe my kids are as imaginative and intelligent and resourceful as they are because of the way they play with their toys. Here are some of our favorites. You can also shop HERE.
16. We go outside nearly everyday. I put the to-do list to the side as often as I can and we head out. In the spring/summer/fall, we are out almost everyday (even if that means 10-20 minutes). In the winter, we do our best to get out when we can. It is good for EVERYONE.
17. We eat meals outside. This is especially true during the spring/summer. We love eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner outside… sometimes all 3 in one day. We either sit on our deck, at our outdoor table, or on a blanket. It means no mess for me to clean in the kitchen – WEEE!
18. We homeschool. I talk about our decision here but I’ll just say that making this decision has eased so many of my worries, and for that reason alone, it makes me a happier mom.
19. I declutter often. I keep up with de-cluttering when things do not serve us any longer to keep things from piling up or getting out of hand. Whether it is toys or clothing or whatever… it is a weight lifted every single time.
20. I make easy meals. I already talked to you about breakfast but I do my best to keep lunches and dinners just as simple. For lunches, it is usually leftovers, soup/stew I make for the week, pasta and jarred sauce, or sandwiches. Dinners are made in under 30 minutes and I keep a long list of our favorites on my phone so I never wonder “what should I make?”
21. We FaceTime family almost every day. A lot of my family live out of state so FaceTime dates are a must and I look forward to them every day.
22. I color with my kids. Crayons or watercolor or whatever it is… I love to sit down and color with them. It feels nice to be a kid again and it makes them so happy.
23. We have dance parties every day. I have a Spotify playlist that I continually add to when we have new favorites. Dancing is the cure to any bad mood. If someone is grumpy, it means it is time for a song or two.
24. We have seasonal traditions. Popsicle dates in the summer, apple picking in the fall, pumpkin carving in October, Advent and cookies in December… and that is just one example for each season. We have loads of traditions and it makes the changing of seasons so magical. I welcome the shift with open arms.
25. We have weekly play dates. Having a play date or two each week keeps us looking forward to adventures with friends.
26. I have the best mom friends. And speaking of play dates, that means I get to spend time with my friends and that makes a HELL OF A DIFFERENCE in my week. I am so grateful for all my mom friends!
27. I plan dinners ahead of time. Writing out dinners for the week ahead of time keeps me on track and takes the guessing work out of my day.
28. We follow a daily rhythm. It is relaxed but it is a rhythm that we all thrive on. If you guys are interested in seeing what that looks like currently, let me know.
29. I end the day with something delicious. Almost every night I have a little something while I am reading or watching television and I just look forward to this time to eat in peace. My go-to bedtime snacks are: air-popped popcorn with lots of nutritional yeast (fave), a square or two of dark chocolate and tea, banana nice cream, or fruit.
30. I watch the sunset at night. I have a front-row view out of my kitchen sliders, which is awesome during the winter (and man, winter sunsets are magnificent). When the weather is nice, I sit out on the deck for a few minutes and watch, sometimes with my husband or sometimes just me. And sometimes I let Willow stay up and watch and she just loves that. And she knows that mommy loves her sunsets. <3 It is the perfect end to my day.
