Hi friends. Here I am months later to finally write about something that has been on my mind ever since our week-long public school stint in January. You can read more about what drove that decision here. The grass was not greener (hence why both of us only lasted a week), but I knew I needed to make changes and mindset shifts in order to protect my sanity, renew my vigor, and prevent burnout as best as possible. I needed to make sure that homeschool works for not only my kids, but myself.
How did I get to that point? I pushed myself too hard, plain and simple. It was easy to get overly excited and want to do everything. I felt a lot of pressure from Instagram to do all the things and while it all looks beautiful, it’s simply not possible to squeeze it all in and maintain sanity. As an introverted and highly sensitive person, alone time and quiet is not just nice to have, it is a necessity. If I am not able to recharge, my battery drains quickly – social battery, patience, etc.
So, we pulled her out. She hated it. I hated it. But we sat down as a family and discussed what needed to change and had an open conversation about mental health for all. We managed expectations and set new boundaries. And let me tell you, it has been the best thing to happen to our homeschool. We came into the second half of the year with a whole new breath of life and found a groove that provides everyone with what they need to be their best selves. Is everyday perfect? LOL. No. BUT we have come a long way since the end of 2023.
So today, I want to share some of the things that have helped this introverted HSP homeschool mom to manage overwhelm. I hope that it is helpful to someone out there who may be struggling in the same way that I was just a few months ago.
Tips to Prevent Burnout
Brought workbooks into our day-to-day.
Workbooks tend to get a bad rap in the homeschool community (particularly on IG), but they have made a big difference for us. The pressure to make everything FUN really burnt me out. Yes, we have plenty of fun… but sometimes we just need to sit down and get things done without overthinking it. Spelling is spelling, you know? I felt like I was constantly trying to piece together units and such for social studies/geography or trying to do spelling/grammar in a fun way when this was taking me more time. Sure, there is a place for these things sometimes! I still love unit studies! BUT adding in a workbook to cover for me and act as a guide has been so helpful. In particular, we are loving Evan Moor Geography workbooks and Spectrum Writing/Grammar.
Less mom-led art projects.
My kids love art… so obviously I became that Pinterest mom who would spend hours looking up activities and then prepping and then actually doing the art project which takes the most mental energy… oof. Now, I provide the materials and my kids have free reign to do whatever they like. From painting, coloring, drawing, air dry clay, pottery clay, play-doh, pot holders, beading, glue, buttons, feathers, sequins, even puffy glitter paint. They create the coolest things when left to their own devices. The best thing? They still get their dose of teacher-led art because we found a co-op that offers it! Which leads me to the next thing…
We FINALLY found a relaxed co-op that fits.
It took us a bit to find it, but this co-op came at the exact time I needed it and we have loved it so much. It’s only once a week, so not a big commitment. We have met so many wonderful friends and my kids get a wide variety of activities to partake in, including art class, gym, handsewing, engineering, making sweet treats, nature study, and more. While I do have to lend a helping hand, it is still a nice break for me. I get to hang and talk with Mom friends and even sit back and relax during some periods.
Swapped childcare duties with a friend.
I am fortunate enough to have a best friend who also homeschools and we gave each other permission to lean on each other anytime we need a break. Even if that means dropping them off for an hour so I can grab a coffee and go grocery shopping alone. It helps! And I am so grateful for this arrangement. Love you, Ni!!
New house rules.
A few things that we implemented include quiet time in their rooms in the afternoon (even just for 20-30 minutes), keeping the living room couch/coffee table clear of toys/papers/crafts (I need this space to stay tidy or else the visual clutter sends me), and designated snack times. These may or may not work for you, but these changes have made a big difference in my own day-to-day. Sometimes I just need to sit on the couch with my cup of tea on the coffee table and I need it to not be a disaster. Again… does it always stay this way? No. But I will gently remind them if it starts to look out of hand.
This is nothing new, but I decluttered toys again.
I do this pretty often, but I needed another push after the holidays. The less clutter, the calmer the home feels and that is how I function best. We all do, honestly.
I unfollowed accounts on Instagram that made me feel overwhelmed or like I wasn’t doing enough.
Some of them I really enjoyed (and still do), but if I was even the tiniest bit triggered into feeling bad, I had to let go. Instead, I follow the ones that really inspire me and I will only check-in and visit the others if I am looking for something in particular.
We focus on core work and sprinkle in extras when it feels good.
We don’t have to do it all everyday. If we get reading, math, and handwriting done, it is a success. Extras like science, social studies, geography, history, art, board games, whatever else… if moods and energy allow, we go for it. Maybe 2x a week? But we do not stress about it. Core work and read aloud is our sweet spot. I have adopted the mindset that homeschool is something we get done in the morning and then by lunch, we move on with our day and live and learn in real life.
I take time to myself on Saturdays.
For a while I was feeling bad because I would be with my kids all week long and then the weekend came and I just wanted a break. This felt wrong because everyone else (who send their kids to school) is excited to spend weekend family time. I want weekend family time! I do! On Sundays! LOL But by Saturday, I really just wanted a moment to myself to recharge and so now, the kids spend quality time with Dad while I go and run errands or go out with a friend or whatever else my heart desires. Sometimes, I just take my book with me and read at a coffee shop. Then I am home and refreshed and by Sunday, we get to do fun family things. I love Saturdays and I will not feel guilty for that!
I let go of what I thought homeschool “should look like” for my children and instead I homeschool and cater to who they are.
Here’s an example of what I mean by this. I see homeschool philosophies (looking at you, Charlotte Mason, who I love, but still, looking at you) that dismiss twaddle and say to read all the classics to your kids. Classics are classic for a reason and have a time and place but my kids, and myself included, often enjoy newer modern stories. Reading stories we find interesting is so much more enjoyable than slogging through a classic just because it is a classic. Did you notice the word “enjoyable” in there? Enjoyable. Isn’t that the ultimate goal?
I came to the realization that homeschool means we are all going to be in the same space the majority of the time.
AND I cannot possibly mean I am their #1 source of entertainment or their boredom director. By the time we get our school done and they have lunch, we have spent the whole first half of the day together. The afternoons are open for them and that means I shift my focus to things like cleaning/cooking/prepping dinner/household tasks or my very favorite, sitting and reading for enjoyment. During this time, they can work on their own projects, play together, make art, go outside, watch a show, whatever their heart desires. And I get to listen to a podcast in peace while I fold laundry. I no longer feel guilty telling my kids no if they ask me to play and I am in the middle of my own task. This may be controversial, but it’s true. Sometimes I say yes! But not all the time!
Last but not least, I set a specific time during the day to work and my kids know that is when I work.
Before, I would just squeeze in work whenever I could. But work is important to me and I don’t want to sacrifice something I love. Communicating this with them has gone a long way. I am glad I set this boundary.
A few other things that I have on my list to look into when we are ready that will help are finding a homeschool drop off program and signing up for an Outschool Class. I think as my kids get older, these will be a great way for me to let go of the reigns and give them some independence.
Something else I really would like to implement but I haven’t yet is packing lunches the night before as if they were going to school. Does that seem crazy? I guess I really like the idea of not having to worry about making lunch and then getting complaints over “no I want this instead.” LOL I may try it in the future and see if it works for us or flops.
If you are still with me, wow congratulations. This ended up being a long one. But I hope that some of it resonates with you. I appreciate you being here and following our journey, as imperfect and in progress as it is. If you are HSP or introverted or both, there is hope. You can totally do this homeschool thing. You just need to set the boundaries that work for you. x
