As promised, this post! Finally got around to this and I truly do hope it is helpful to anyone who is feeling unhappy or uninspired by where they live.
A while back, I shared an honest post on how I had been feeling about where we live and the house that we live in. I have since then vowed to do better. I shared some of the ways that I have embraced our home with a grateful heart in this post. As a follow-up, I wanted to give you guys an update on how I am coming around to staying put in New England.
Some quick background to anyone who may not have seen my posts in the past (here or on Instagram): I live in New England with my husband and daughter (with daughter #2 on the way!) My siblings are out of state and my parents split up their time here and in Florida. For a while, we were considering moving to Florida. While this isn’t off the table entirely, it is not a move we are comfortable making anytime soon… as much as I may miss having my immediate family close by. I grew up here and we have a lot of friendships and extended family here that we would miss. Along with a plethora of other things (my husband’s job, good school systems, autumn, timing, to name a few).
Sure, we’d love say goodbye to snow and crazy taxes, but a move just doesn’t seem fitting for where we are in life right now. And when I spent most of my time and energy worrying about moving and dreaming about it, I found that it sucked the life out of me… and my happiness. I couldn’t live in the now and enjoy this home and this place. So I gave myself a bit of an attitude adjustment.
If you are in a similar situation or feel like you want to move out more times than not, maybe the below will resonate with you. Here are some of the ways that have helped me to embrace and be grateful for where we live right now.
— Make a list. It is very easy for me to list off the reasons why I want to leave this state (the fact that it came in #50 as the worst state for business and infrastructure is very much at the top). I dwell on these things. HOWEVER. If I really sit down and lay it all out, there are also many reasons why I would prefer to stay. For example, for me, it looks sort of like this: extended family, friends (and some with kids Willow’s age), good school systems, fall (my favorite season), husband’s job, only an hour away from my brother, change of seasons. A lot of these reasons outweigh the reasons to move… and when I see it written out, it helps me to think more clearly. Looking back at my list and expressing gratitude towards the things I do like has helped me to come around and not feel as down.
— Visit your favorite spot, often. Something that made me a bit unhappy when we moved last year is that we were further from the beaches than I would like to be. HOWEVER, they are still very much accessible… so I have been making a conscious effort to head towards them as often as I can. Even if we don’t go on the beach, just seeing the water makes me feel at peace. It makes me grateful to be here. If you have a favorite spot in your area, visit as often as you can and really soak in those moments.
— Find good in the bad. What is the worst thing about living where you live? Pinpoint it and try to find a sliver of good. For me, I hate the long and dark winter/snow season because I get seasonal depression and it affects a lot of areas in my life. But I am trying to see the bright side of it to keep out of the funk – cozy Christmas time, warm drinks, blankets, candles, movie nights, snow angels with my daughters, hot chocolate, fuzzy socks. I am trying to shift my mindset to think about the better half of the situation. I have also recently embraced the idea of hygge and I think that I will practice it this upcoming winter to see how it helps.
If there are positives to your own situation, really try to accentuate them.
— Visit local parks, beaches, etc. Basically, anything that is outdoors and free to walk or roam, do it. Or even a small fee. But getting outside is very important. Hiking, walking, farmer’s market… whatever you have. Watching a sunset while lying on a blanket always makes me feel very grateful to be exactly where I am. It’s easy to forget to do these simple things or say we are too busy, but slow down and just do it. I have found that slowing down and enjoying all areas of the state has helped me to feel better.
— Find new things to do. Chances are, there is a lot going on in your community and surrounding ones. Make an effort to find out what’s happening and attend. It will feel like something new and exciting.
— Shake up your routine. Do you normally buy your groceries at the same place? How about hitting up a local farmer’s market or stand for a few groceries instead. Something as simple as that can make a difference.
Another great example: one night we decided to haul 45 minutes to my favorite beach to watch the sun go down. This is something we never do because it’s always dinner, bath, bedtime routine, then Netflix on the couch. We said screw Willow’s bedtime routine tonight, let’s just pack her pajamas and she can sleep on the way home. We packed snacks and some beach toys for her and headed to the beach around 5:30-6PM. It felt exciting and different and really made a difference in our weekend. We always look back on it. And to be honest, we do this every once in a while now. Because you can’t always be tied by monotonous routines and be happy. It’s the moments that you make and create that you’ll remember and enjoy. This night will always hold a special place in my heart.
— Try to think past money. Money is everything, right? It sucks. I hate it. I hate money. It truly is the root of all evil and ANXIETY. But it’s a huge driving factor in every decision we make. If we move, we’d probably save a lot of money. But does more money in our pocket equal happiness? If we move to Florida, will we enjoy the heat year round? Will we miss the seasons? Will we like our neighborhood? Or will it get old really quick? Will we miss family and friends? Sure, my parents will be there, but is that enough? There’s so much uncertainty and as a growing family (you know, second baby on the way) I am not quite sure I can handle something so uncertain. So I am trying to forget money. I can’t make a decision based entirely on money because at the end of the day, we are making it work here. It is tough, but money aside, we know what to expect here.
I don’t know what the future holds for us or where we will be in the years to come. Things can change at any moment. But for now, I am going to live content. I am going to live in the moment and enjoy our growing family in the place that we are currently planted. The above has helped me to shift perspective a bit. I hope that it all made sense… it’s probably a jumbled mess (lol) but hey, I tried to articulate it.
These tips may or may not be helpful because every single person has a completely unique situation, but I do hope that even one piece of it resonated with you. My heart is with you if you are struggling and I hope that you can find peace where you are. xx bianca
