I actually can’t believe I am writing this post. It feels insane that Willow is not in diapers anymore. BUT here we are! I posted about this briefly in my stories on Instagram and a lot of you asked about our experience and what we did. I am going to be quite honest – we did not do too much. It was a whole lot of “let her lead” and I do believe this is the easiest and least-stressful way to go about it for both you and your babe. But I’ll share the whole story – including a false start.
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In December, I decided that I was going to potty train Willow. We went to Target and picked out new underwear, bought pull-ups, grabbed this book thrifted, I printed a sticker chart, created a little potty area, and had some Annie’s fruit snacks ready to go as a reward. Everything was ready.
She woke up the next morning and we sat on potty – she went. YAY!! We praised and put a sticker on the chart and gave her a couple fruit snacks. This was too easy. Except just kidding. That was the only time she went that day. The rest of the day was her trying to carry around the potty, take off her underwear, pee her pull-ups without a second glance, etc. We tried letting her go sans underwear and still, did not care. She would just pee and not let it phase her. I would sit her down on potty every 30 minutes and we would read the book and I would explain the whole process. We watched Daniel Tiger episodes about going to the potty. But after that day, we were both pretty fed up and frustrated with one another. Looking back, I know we both were not ready and it definitely felt way too forced. Back in diapers and I put away the whole idea. I thought okay, maybe we will just try in the spring when she is 2.5 instead.
After the New Year, one night she literally told me and Joe randomly “I want to go potty” right before bed. So we asked her, do you want to potty train? “Yes.” Okay! First thing tomorrow, we will try again.
I decided that instead of forcing the idea over and over every half hour, I was just going to put her on it a couple times a day and let her wear the pull-up. If it was wet, we would change it, and if it was dry when I checked, I would praise praise praise. The first day, she didn’t go in the potty at all. Fine. BUT she still sat on it sometimes and after her accidents, we would sit and I would ask her “where does pee pee go?” “In the potty.” Very relaxed.
The next couple days were similar with a few wins in between. Sometimes she would go over to potty and other times she would tell me while she was going in her pull-up. Still, progress. She knew the sensation, even though she wasn’t exactly on the potty yet. A whole week went by like this. I wasn’t putting any stress on her… I was just guiding her. I would ask throughout the day “do you want to use the potty?” and if she said no, I would drop it. If she did, we would go sit… even if she wasn’t going, we would sit and read the book and just discuss the whole process. My friend recommended this book and she loved that, so that was helpful. That and a lot of singing the Daniel Tiger song. She loved that – every time she would finish she would run to the sink and sing “Flush and wash and be on your way!” Even if she didn’t go. It was really cute.
We hit a spot during the second week that she would use the potty as an excuse to not do whatever it was we had to do (lunch time, bedtime, etc.) She would yell I GO POTTY and then just sit there and kind of protest. It was really frustrating but you can’t lose your cool or make this a bad experience so I tried my best to just go with it and act like it wasn’t a big deal. But oof… it was very frustrating and I felt like she was getting the best of me. So I actually decided again… maybe this is another false start. I put the potty away. The second week… she literally went back in diapers and didn’t seem phased whatsoever. I felt like a failure, but that’s a whole different story.
THEN SUDDENLY one day she said “I go potty?” and I took the potty out of the closet and placed it down. She went. All by herself… she just told me and did her thing. And then she did it again and again and again. And the whole day went by and she didn’t have any accidents and stayed dry. The next day I put a pull-up on her again and she woke up, went, and then followed suit all day. She even went #2 (in installments, might I add, but still!) On the third day of these wins, we put her in these thicker training panties which she loved. No accidents, just sometimes she would go a little bit and would catch herself. If that happened, she would ask for a new pair of underwear and be on her way. After a whole week of this with just a few accidents in between, she transitioned to big girl underwear and has now been accident-free. She goes both #1 and #2 without any issues. She just decided that one Sunday that she was ready.
We still use pull-ups for nap, bedtime, and in the car. I have to say, she is very good at holding it. We have been driving home a few times when she has to go and I ask “can you hold it?” and she says “yes” and will go as soon as we get in. Nighttime is trickier, but I know that will come in time. I am not worried. Sometimes she does wake up and call for us to take her to potty. I’m so proud of her.
A couple notes that I went to mention:
- We have a potty on every floor of our home and in the car so it is accessible at all times.
- After she goes in the potty, we both go to the “big potty” and flush. I think this really helped get her excited in the beginning. I made a big deal of it – “YAY YOU WENT POTTY!! LET’S GO TAKE IT TO THE BIG POTTY AND SAY BYE BYE!” She really enjoyed that and still is proud to go and do this every. single. time.
- I found that rewards didn’t do much. She wasn’t too motivated by it but every kid is different.
- I always made a big deal out of her still being “dry” – it’s just as important to make a note of.
- The sticker chart also did not work… she was just kinda like “meh” and just wanted to play with the stickers. Again, this is probably different for everyone. But I just truly found that having a simple and relaxed approach without the bells and whistles is what made it so easy.
- At first, I always always always gave her the option to choose if she wanted to wear a diaper, pull-up, or underwear. Sometimes she would choose the diaper and I would say okay and put it on her. No fuss. I think the less pressure, the better.
- Whenever I would change Fiona, I would discuss how Fiona is a baby and wears diapers but when she is a big girl like Willow, she will also wear big girl underwear too.
The number one thing that really got us through this is zero pressure and never getting upset or visibly annoyed or angry. Just very even and matter of fact when accidents happen with a reminder of where pee pee goes. And when she did go in the potty, lots of hugs and encouragement. And yes, Daniel Tiger episodes on repeat really helped.
So honestly, if you have made it this far, you will see that there was really no structure or system… it wasn’t rigid or stressful. We took our time and let her lead. Kids are smart and it will click when it clicks. I know easier said than done, because I was a huge ball of stress in December, but really… don’t stress. False starts are not failures. I truly believe every “false start” we had was just her processing and figuring it out in her own way. False starts are starts. Every kid has to start somewhere.
I hope this was helpful or at least a little encouraging if you are going through this. Just remember… every kid will learn. There are not many adults in diapers, right? Good luck! xo
