A Mom’s To Do & Not To Do List

We are moms and we can do a whoooole lot. A lot but not everything. Well, at least not without sacrificing our sanity. As a mom of young kids (21 months and nearly 4, to be exact), the days are long. Wonderful and messy and irreplaceable, but you know… really long. But I know how the saying goes: the days are long, but the years are short. So instead of overwhelming myself, I am intentional in what I keep on my to-do list to avoid burn out and aggravation. I am intentional to be present with my kids because the years are short.

I felt inspired to write this post after reading a post from Kari Patterson on Simple Homeschool entitled Intentional Mediocrity: The Homeschool Not To Do List. Please check it out here! It truly stopped me in my tracks and had me reflecting and reaching for my notepad to immediately jot down my own thoughts. And I wanted to share them with you today. Mine list is not so much about homeschooling just yet, but perhaps that will come in the future. For now, these are my thoughts as a mama.

Not-To-Do

I don’t clean to perfection. My house is lived in. That’s simply the season of life we are in now and I have accepted that fully. I’d be cleaning all day long if I had to keep up with my kids’ messes. If you are coming over, don’t expect immaculate countertops. My house will be clean enough to be presentable and comfortable, but not show-room ready. Ever. I like to spend my precious time doing things that mean more to me.

I don’t wash the floors everyday. Piggy-backing off cleaning, I do not clean my floors every day. I do a quick wipe under the table after my kids eat (because there is always a mess after that) and sweep/vacuum every few days and mop once a week.

I don’t keep up with fast fashion. I am all about that thrift store life when I need something and if you have been following me for a while, you know that! I’m a basics girl and I don’t like investing in pieces that will fade fast.

I don’t work out. I just do not enjoy it. I am constantly on my feet during the day, playing outside with my kids, and taking walks on the weekend. That’s enough for me.

I don’t buy a ton of processed foods. Aside from some packaged snacks for my kids and mock meats/vegan cheese alternatives, I do not buy a whole lot of processed stuff. I enjoy cooking enough to forgo the pre-made stuff.

I don’t read, watch, or listen to news. It is very rare that I read the news… mostly when something major has happened. But other than that, it is depressing and can be triggering for my anxiety so I avoid it.

I don’t fold the majority of my kids clothes (or anyone’s pajamas). I was not raised this way, but I have always been a shove-it-in-the-drawer person. It’s either that or hang them up if necessary. Forget about the pajama drawers.

I don’t make every snack from scratch. Occasionally I like to make muffins or a sweet loaf but aside from that, my kid’s snacks are simple and unimaginative. Yogurt, fruit, crackers and hummus, leftover oatmeal from the morning, olives, peanut butter crackers, applesauce, cereal, fig bars, animal crackers, graham crackers… simple stuff.

I don’t over-schedule myself. I protect my time and do not say yes to everything that we get invited to.

So, what do I do? I prioritize the following…

To Do

Get down on floor to play at least once a day. Many times it is more than once per day but if I have work stuff going on or am busier than usual, I make it a point to engage with my undivided attention at LEAST once. This may mean playing with legos, role playing (my daughters loves acting our characters with me), building blocks or Magnatiles, playing house, coloring, etc. Getting down on their level and doing something with them without my phone attached to me means a lot to both girls. Their moods are always brighter when they have mama’s complete attention.

Get outside with my daughters as often as possible. No matter the season, we try to get outside often. Winters are harder but still, even 15-20 minutes is enough then. But the spring/summer/fall… forget it. We spend hours outside. If I have work to do, I’ll bring my laptop and sit at the table while they play. But often times, I just bask in the fresh air because it is good for everyone. And it feels good to just be.

Answer my kid’s questions. Lots of questions from my oldest at all times and I do not like to brush her off. I have always spoken to my children like adults. I don’t like to beat around the bush or make something up. I will genuinely answer every question to the best of my ability and truthfully. If I don’t know the answer, I tell her I am unsure and sometimes we look up the answer together if we can! I do believe this is a major reason why she is very well-spoken for her age. And people sometimes ask to me “how does that know that?!” or “where did she learn that from?!” Hellllloooo! *waves*

Read for pleasure every day. This means so much to me and if you follow me, you know that. I read every single day for at least an hour or more. I wake up early, read during quiet pockets during the day when my kids are playing nicely, read during quiet time, and read before bed. I read fiction for pleasure and non-fiction for knowledge and growth. It is the one thing I love to do for myself and I will always prioritize it. You can always see what I am reading on GoodReads.

Read to my kids and almost always on demand. On that same note, I also read to my kids every single day. Usually we read a story or two at breakfast together, sprinkled throughout the day, and always plenty before bed. I say “on demand” because it very rare that I say no if my kid brings me a book. Unless I am cooking or doing something that cannot be interrupted, I will always stop and read to them.

Invest in whole, nutritious foods. We budget for food but it is looser than other things because we believe in investing in foods that are going to keep our family healthy and strong. I love to cook. I keep things simple for the most part and am always mindful of what I am serving.

Sit down to eat meals with my kids. Breakfast and dinner are always together. Lunch is sometimes together, unless I have some kitchen cleaning to do while they eat or I am not hungry yet. But breakfast and dinner, together. I love sitting, sometimes reading, or just chatting with them while we eat together.

Meal plan dinners. Speaking of dinners, I like to write out the dinners for the week so that I don’t have to spend the entire day wondering what I am going to cook. I keep a running list of simple meal ideas on my phone so that I can quickly browse, see what is in my pantry/fridge, and plan. I keep dinners simple – I’m talking less than 30 minutes to make. This is non-negotiable.

Go to bed early to wake up early. I go to bed around 9:30 (sometimes 10, but that is pushing it) so that I can wake up before my kids at 5-5:30 and still be well-rested. Having even 30 minutes to myself in the morning is invaluable.

Embrace messes. My kids play all day long and the mess just piles up but I don’t sweat it. I don’t run around picking things up as the day goes on. As Mister Fred Rogers said: “play is the work of childhood.” Let them play. Let them get messy. Let them spill water while having a tea party. I don’t want to interfere and take down their blocks or mess with their puzzle in case they come back to it. I keep some of their art supplies out on a shelf so they can easily grab whenever they feel inspired (things like crayons, colored pencils, paper, coloring books). My dining room table is often covered by day’s end with their little scribbles, doodles, and drawings and it makes me so happy. At the end of the day, we all clean up as a family to teach them to put their things away (and also that they will receive help if they ask for it!)

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