Second Baby: Things I’ve Done Differently

As I’ve settled into the role of mom of 2 – infant and toddler – I have found that there are so many things that I have done differently. Or even just ways that I have felt different. I wanted to share some of it with you guys today because I feel like a lot of you mamas out there will relate.

A lot of people told me having the second would be harder and some said easier. For me personally, it has been an easier transition than I anticipated (thankfully). Of course, I have my hard days and there are times when I want to pull my hair out but overall, I feel much more confident as a second time mom.

This post isn’t to say some things are wrong or right or whatever. You do you, mama. These are just some things that I personally have done differently or things that I noticed about myself that was different as a second time mom.

---

— I babywear everyday. It was pretty optional with my first, especially around the house. It is necessity almost every single day when you have a second and need your hands free for a toddler.

— I needed new bottles. Different baby, different bottle preference. It’s funny how one thing works for one baby and is just a big no with the next. My second was not keeping her milk down with Avent bottles that we previously swore by so we switched to Dr. Brown’s and it made a world of a difference.

— I wasn’t afraid of formula (even though I exclusively pump). With my first, I was so scared to even think about formula. Even when I had to start supplementing 8 months into her life, I was always feeling so guilty and putting pressure on myself. Not the case with #2. I told myself I wasn’t going to put myself through the stress and anxiety again because it ruined me the first time. When my milk wasn’t fully in this time around, I supplemented right from the start. Now that my milk is in, my second gets that first but I have a canister of formula ready to go if need be. This has made a world of a difference, mentally.

— I stress less. Piggy-backing off the last point, I am all about stressing less and doing whatever I need to do to make sure I don’t get too overwhelmed. I think the fact that I am a second tine mom, the “been there done that” mentally is there, but of course, every baby is different. I can remember the first time Willow threw up her milk and I called the doctor immediately and was a nervous wreck over it. It was completely normal but I was honestly a mess. The first time it happened with Fiona… it’s totally fine. No big deal. I know that is just a small example, but just an idea of what I mean. I truly do stress less about the little things and try to see the big picture.

— I swaddle my second. Willow did NOT like the swaddle at all and much preferred her arms out. Naturally, I went with that tactic for Fiona. NOPE. We went from waking up every hour to waking up every 3ish hours once I grabbed a swaddle from the thrift store. I thought well let me just try it out… and for $2.50, that swaddle has gifted me more sleep. Fiona looooves having her arms by her side, wrapped up tight tight tight. Sensing a pattern yet about every child being different?

— I am more confident. From the start, everything felt more natural and came easier as a second time mom. My husband said it right away, too. Everything comes back to you instantly and you just take it as it comes. I had a lot of breakdowns with my first, especially the first few weeks between the newness of my role and the hormones. This time around, I had two very weepy days and then bounced back pretty quickly and I believe it is because I just felt more confident in my role.

— I did not download a schedule/tracking app. As a first-time mom, I was tracking diapers, bottles, what side I nursed on last… pretty much every single thing. I know a lot of people stress having to keep track, even doctors, but I really felt confident enough to just go with my instincts and not have to worry about tracking and overthinking everything. I remember losing it over my first born being one pee diaper short of what the app said. It drives you insane. Every single human being is different and this time, I did not want an app to make me worry more than I already had to. It was very liberating, to be honest.

— I let my baby cry more. And by cry more, I mean… no longer than a minute or so, but I am not always as accessible with a toddler running around and needing my attention, too. With my first, I would rush over to soothe at every stir or whimper or cry. Hearing your baby cry gives you major anxiety, especially as a first time mom, and you will do everything and anything to stop it. I have definitely been more “relaxed” about this now because truthfully, I have to be! If not, things would be so chaotic and my older girl might feel slighted if I only tend to baby’s needs at all times. I split my attention now and if that means my second born has to cry a little while I serve my toddler lunch, so be it.

---

Can you relate to any of the above? I’d love to hear about your own experiences as a second, third, or even fourth time mom. xx bianca