Ways to Connect With Your Kids (Instead of Playing)

Hi friends!

Are you like me and look for all the excuses in the world when your child wants to play dolls or cars? LOL I love spending time with my kids… trust me. I didn’t choose the homeschool route for nothing. However, it takes a lot out of me to sit down and “play.” Magnatiles and LEGO I am usually cool with. But if my daughter passes me an animal and says “be the Mom”… I can give maybe 5 minutes before I am tapping out.

The truth is, I prefer them to play imaginative games together. I believe independent and uninterrupted play is so important. BOREDOM itself is so important!

Now, I am not saying I never play. Trust me. I am the monster or troll in many of their pretend scenarios. They have me crawling around like a dog on some days. I know all the best hide-and-seek spots in my house. BUT I prefer connecting with my kids in different ways. I wanted to share them with you today in case you are in the same boat. You do not have to feel guilty if you do not want to “play” in the traditional sense. There are so many ways to connect with your kids, which you are probably already doing!

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Read together. Surprise surprise that this is first from me. Whether you snuggle up with a blanket on the couch or read while sipping hot chocolate/tea with a snack at the kitchen table, reading aloud to your child is the perfect opportunity to bond over stories new and old while also enhancing their vocabulary, expanding their imagination, and broadening their worldview.

Dream together. About anything at all. About vacations or future plans like what flowers you are gonna plant in the spring or where they see their life going. Even a child as young as five can talk your ear off about their interests and how they wish to be a rock scientist someday (aka my daughter). These conversations yield connection.

Make a seasonal bucket list. We live in a place that gets all four seasons and that makes it super fun to pull together a bucket list of what we want to do. You could list a many things as you’d like or just a few, but either way, it gives you something to look forward to, together. Some things that we love…

Spring: planting our herbs and vegetables, making sweet bread from Easter

Summer: making fried zucchini flowers, strawberry picking followed by homemade shortcake, blueberry picking, fireworks, beach nights

Fall: s’mores nights, pumpkin picking, making jack-o-lanterns, foliage strolls, planting bulbs

Winter: advent, decorating for the holidays, glow stick dance parties

Cook or bake together. I know this isn’t easy for everyone (especially if you have kids under 5) but every once in a while, it is so worth it to see their excitement to make something from scratch with you. Plus, this is one of the most important life skills you can gift to your child! When my kids were very young, I bought these nylon knives (Amazon affiliate link) and let them chop soft veggies like carrots, celery, potatoes, mushrooms for soup. As they get older, we do a lot of baking together and I let my oldest read the recipe and measure out. Yes, it can be messy and take twice as long but that’s life with kids.

Watch cooking or baking shows. On that same note, one thing we love to do together on a lazy afternoon is watch cooking shows. In particular, we love to watch the Barefoot Contessa, Pick Up Limes, and The Great British Baking Show. Again… these are life skills and my husband and I (who love to cook and bake) love sharing this part of us with them. If cooking/baking isn’t your thing, maybe a documentary on a topic that interests everyone! The key is to watch together.

Read a fairytale then watch the movie version. We are big on fairytales in this house. We love reading different versions by different authors and then watching movies to compare them. As my kids get older, the conversations are so enriching for them and just beautiful as a parent.

Watercolor / paint / create. Whenever I sit down to make art with my kids, I never regret it. It forces me to slow down and stop tackling the dishes or to-do list. You don’t have to be good at it! Just sit and mindlessly create alongside them. It is good for everyone.

Have conversations in cars. Some of our best conversations happen in the car. Sometimes they are silly and mindless, sometimes educational (from traffic lights or power lines), and sometimes they can be more serious. My daughter once engaged me in a conversation about feelings of anxiety (though she didn’t realize exactly quite what those feelings meant) and we were able to have a really beautiful conversation about it and how she can regulate herself and face her fears. I will never forget the conversation and how adult she sounded (at just 5 years old). Music is fun but sometimes a quiet car filled with chatter is worth it, too.

Bird watch. We love our window bird feeder and will stop whatever we are doing to watch. Sometimes I will be in the middle of something and my girls will run to grab me and see. I can’t deny their excitement.We have learned lots about local birds by doing this together. Which brings me to…

Learn something new together. Are you interested in similar things? Or maybe you are interested in something and you just sit down and start researching/reading/watching something in front of them. Most times, my girls take the bait and ask what I am doing and want in. Or maybe you want to take a class together!

Garden together. Kids love getting dirty… especially young children. I always invite them into any planting and gardening plans.

Play card or board games. One of my favorite ways to bond! I scour thrift stores for new board games and we keep them in a large closet to pull from whenever. Not only a good time, but almost every game will have some educational aspect to it. We also love good ‘ol fashioned card games!

Have dance parties (add glow sticks). Dance parties are never a bad idea and loosen everyone up. I like to add glow sticks from the Dollar store into the mix when it is dark during the long winter evenings. My kids get such a kick out of this. It makes you feel like a kid again, yourself. Ask me how I know. x